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For some reason, gamers love energy drinks. Ever since video games have become legitimized as an actual sport, gamers have been trying to enhance their performance with highly caffeinated concoctions... because, you can't possibly break world records, achieve greatness, or nail the prom queen without some sort of chemical enhancement. It worked (allegedgly) for the likes of Barry Bonds, Mark McGuire and Jason Giambi... and they're famous record-holding sports legends, right? For a while, Mountain Dew was (and still is to some degree) a staple among LAN parties, as it has a decent amount of caffeine to help gamers stay up all night, while having a pleasant, citrusy taste.
Over the past several years, beverage companies have been advertising "performance enhancing" drinks to the younger crowd as a better-tasting alternative to coffee. Some of these drinks have also been "scientifically formulated" to assist your body motabilize its energy effects, provide minerals, and ease the inevitable caffeine "crash". These drinks are so successful that there are now a ton of different varieties to choose from, and each company's marketing department will have you believe that theirs is the best.
Most energy drinks are targeted towards a general audience of Gen-Xers (and Y-ers), but Bawls is targeted specifically to gamers. You may not have heard of Bawls, but they are now the de-facto standard energy drink at any LAN party. Perhaps it is because of the high levels of caffeine, its unique taste, or its shapely bottle...
Or it could be the name: Bawls. No guy can resist walking into a room full of testosterone-soaked sweaty geeks and not make a reference about someone's mother, their role in her sex life, and a set of Dewy Blue Bawls (the best jokes include all three). The Bawls LineupAll joking aside, Bawls is actually a refreshing beverage that lets you say goodbye to your SpongeBob sleeping blanket for a while. They have three different soda varieties, and they are releasing a new product in February: Bawls Guaranna Exxtra with 50% more caffeine. The current lineup of drinks includes the original Bawls Guaranna, Bawls Guarannexx (sugar free), and Cherry Bawls. The classic Bawls soda comes in a cobalt-blue bottle and holds 10 ounces. Sugar-free Bawls is also 10 ounces but has a clear glass bottle. Cherry Bawls comes in a tall 16-ounce can (and regular Bawls is also available in a blue 16-ounce can). Here's the rundown of the lineup:
What is guarana? Guarana (pronounced gwa-ra-NAH) is a creeping shrub native to Venezuela and northern Brazil in the Amazon rain forest. The fruit are small, bright-red, and contains black seeds. Guarana seeds are rich in caffeine and contain up to 4-8% caffeine, more than coffee beans, which contain approximately 1–2.5% caffeine. The seeds are also rich in tannins and xanthine alkaloids theophylline and theobromine.Guarana is a South American shrub, whose berries contain guaranine, and is a popular ingredient in energy drinks outside the US, and is commonly used in "health tonics" in Brazil and hispanic countries, and Bawls is the first (and currently only) US company to use it in a commercial beverage.
Bawls claims that the guarana-based caffeine is natural, so it gives you a smooth, crash-free caffeine rush, and is also 3 times stronger than traditional caffeine. It is true that one guarana seed has more caffeine than 1 coffee bean, but the amount in the bottle is the same. The caffeine in guarana is actually called guaranine, and is so chemically similar to caffeine that even chemists say there isn't a difference. Guarine is motabilized in the body just like caffeine (since it is essentially the same chemical), so it cannot be scientifically verified that it has any benefits above caffeine. There is no such thing as a "more natural" form of caffeine: caffeine is caffeine. One thing cannot be disputed, however: guarana provides a much better taste than caffeine, which is where the soda's light citrusy taste comes from. How it comparesSeveral of the OCMS staff joined me in a taste test with the entire Bawls lineup, and we compared them to other popular beverages. Other energy beverages use B-vitamins, taurine, and other additives to enhance the product's energy effectiveness. B12 is very effective at providing energy, and increases your body's motabalism, but unfortunately tastes very "vitamin-y". Taurine is the primary ingredient in Red Bull and Rockstar, and is scientifically proven to help motabolize B vitamins. The thing is: taurine is a chemical found in ox and cow livers (hence the name Taurine, like Taurus the bull). So, the primary ingredient in Red Bull and Rockstar tastes exactly like cow bile. Yum!
Bawls Guarana is the soda company's "classic" flavor. The deep blue bottle's cap is easy to twist off, so you don't need to have a bottle opener with you. No caramel color or other artifical coloring has been added, so the soda is completely clear. The liquid is lightly carbonated, so it easily pours into a glass without creating a huge "fizz head". The energy soda has an unusual flavor, but is definately within the citrus family. You can definately taste the lemon-lime combination that is similar to Sprite, but there is an extra element that gives is a slightly sweeter "caramelly" taste. There is no other energy drink I have tried that tastes quite like Bawls Guarana. Bawls Guarannexx is their sugar-free version of the energy drink, and the bottle has the same shape, but is made from clear glass. Instead of the Aspartame (also known as Nutrasweet) used in most other sugar-free drinks, Guarannaexx uses sucralose (also known as Splenda). Sucralose is a chemical derivative of a sugar crystal, but its chemical structure cannot be absorbed by the human body, so your blood sugar isn't raised because you actually haven't consumed any sugar. Guarannexx tastes very similar to classic Bawls, but has a very artifical aftertaste. Trisha's face (who isn't used to diet soda) contorted into a an expression of displeasure and immediately expelled it into the nearby sink. I thought it tasted fine for a diet drink.
The Cherry variety of Bawls Guarana comes in a tall 16-ounce red can with lots of little white "target" marks all over it. It tastes almost exactly like Cherry 7-up (which was marketed for a few years in the late 80s), so it has a refreshing lemon-lime taste with a hint of cherry flavor. Unlike Cherry 7-up (which was an immasculating pink), Cherry Bawls is completely clear. Cherry Bawls is definately the most pleasant-tasting of the trio.
How it compares
We found that Red Bull actually has more caffeine ounce-per-ounce than Bawls... but do you really want to taste liquified cow liver? Even Jolt cola, which is renowned for its "up all nite-ness" has less caffeine than Bawls. Coffee can easily surpass any energy drink in terms of its strength, but:
Nearly everyone in today's modern society has experienced a "caffeine crash". Some people who are addicted to caffeine experience headaches when they don't have the drug flowing through their veins, and others just feel suddenly tired or exhausted. I have tried alot of different energy drinks, some of which have been "scientifically formulated" to reduce crashes. This is a very subjective thing to comment on, but Bawls feels "middle of the road" in terms of coming off your caffeine high. I didn't feel excessively jittey or overly tired when coming down, but I could definately feel it. |
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